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Changing times… but still below radar…

May 9, 2011 by The Hermit

I really must say, thing are beginning to unfold… and i sometimes wish i was back to the old times… waaaaay below anyone’s radar…

First big change, dealing with being married. That’s alright. Beginning to enjoy it. Though i wish i’d get a new job or a baby, or both.

Secondly, i cant figure it out. Either i have more work at work than before cos i’m just always so tired! Even saturday mornings when i usually go to the Home, i’m just usually flat on my back, zoned out! I’ve come to relish living the Hermit life even more…

Thirdly, i’ve put on weight! Aaarrrggggghhhh… all that eating! So i’m full steam ahead with gym and runs in the park … need to get back into shape and back into my old clothes, pre-wedding. And finally, started eating Oats. Havent seen the difference yet, but i must say, oats is not as bad as i thought it would be.

Next is … my closest friend is getting married and i’m helping her with the organisation. Hence, it’s also a bit tricky cos she’s busy and he’s busy… and so, wedding details finalisation takes longer. But i do enjoy the fact that i get to travel to her hometown for glorious food! yay!

Then, here i am totally enjoying my morning mass routine, when all of a sudden, i’m asked to lead morning lauds and do readings. Haiyoo, after screwing the first day of morning prayers (only the first part!), it could only get better from there. I hope. But i think this totally gets me out of whack for mass, cos i’m so used to just sitting down and listening, enjoying myself. Am thinking of backing out soon. Too stressfull to start the day…

And i have to get used to the idea of people being curious about who i am. Just the other day, hubby’s friend asked him what channels i had on paid tv. Bizzarre. Like you can figure out someone just by what channels they have. I thought that was so strange. So what if i was just a person who subscribed to the cartoon network? Duuuuuh…

And now … i have to worry about where to work… here? overseas? here? overseas? this alone can drive me completely insane. Hence, i’ve just left it in the hands of God and let him do what HE thinks is best for me. I think that’s best for a lot of things, as i’ve learnt to just leave it when i’m stumped on a lot of things. Yes, i do get nagged by my husband, like on matters on whether i’ll be working where he is, but when i’ve done what i can and let’s see what happens. As much as i want to move, there’s also other stuff to think about.

I’ll push what i can, and when need be, back off. No use getting too overly spastic over stuff one has no control over. Some may say i’m not doing enough but hey, i’ve tried and i’m not the sort to go round telling the whole world what i’ve done. I do stuff quietly.

I like remaining below radar… that’s how hubby describes me. Also cos i refuse to let him divulge info about me to others cos i just like to remain “Unknown” heeheeheehee… so different from him being Mr Sociable!

And for my next hare brain project – either go trekking somewhere, do the ferrata in KK or go kerala. Although, i am tempted to take up sky diving classes…

Hhhhmmmmm need to think this through…

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The Ying & Yang of having labels…

April 11, 2011 by The Hermit

Strange but interesting times we live in today. We have a label for everything or everyone.

Person who always wants have the last word (cos that would mean they’re the best) – mizz know-it-all, power hungry.

Person who shops at only designer boutiques - brand whore.

Person who talks well, but the output…. but they can still talk their way out of it – the NATO.

Person who shops – the shopaholic.

Person who reads endlessly. The bookworm.

Person who uses everyone to their own good. I would say “user friendly”. They would say “opportunist” or “resourceful”.

Sometimes, these labels can be laughed at or bring a cheezie smile… but when used in the wrong context, it sticks and come hell or highwater, does more damage than good.

Lets say, if you’re gunning for that promotion for the longest time, and someone says something as simple as ”that employee doesnt dress well or behaves strangely”, all based on perception on a chance encounter. When in actual fact, this person was caught unawares and was going through an emotional upheaval at that point in time. Nevertheless, till today, the label stuck, and the employee was never promoted.

Or someone says, “that person would never amount to anything!” sadly, many people use this phrase rather losely these days. So even when the said invidual ends up to be the sole breadwinner, or goes on to have a bright future etc, the naysayers would think of what was said of this person, and would probably take the label a step further, and pass comments that the success was achieved by ill-gotten gains. How many times has that happened to someone you know???

This is what happened to me some time back. A relation of mine at a certain family gathering, an old dude la, said, or rather implied, in the presence of a few other elders that i had packed my mum back to my hometown, and she had no choice but to go. No matter how i tried to explain the crux of the matter and that it was my mum’s decision and no one forced her hand, the damage had been done. Anyone who doesnt know me well enough, would have labeled me as bonafide, cold-hearted b*^#h! Was i hurt, very. Was i angry, very. Did i call my mum to find out the details of this, right on! but then, too late to change things. All been said alredi. A perception has been created.

See what i mean?

Whatever one says about another, either without even thinking about it (verbal diarrhea) or done in a calculated manner to obtain the desired effect, will have an impact on the other, positively or negatively.

So the next someone is thinking of saying something, rather flippantly, think again.

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Going gaga over prada…

March 27, 2011 by The Hermit

And there we have it… darling hubby totally understand wifey’s undying love… not only for him but also for her second and third loves… books and bags!

So yes… after much of dawdling around prices and stuff… man finally gets wife the love of her life … a prada gauffre ruched tessuto tote!

Yes, my man knows how i go gaga over bags, even after numerous “You must start saving for our future…. blah blah blah” talks he has often tried to drill down my ears and brains … seriously, if my own family tried over all these years…. hmmmmmm you think my darling hubby would be able to get through this screwball head of mine…. errrr i dun think so!!!

And he got me a prada gauffre ruched tessuto …. nah not the pure nappa leather version… the version i like is the nylon and leather version..

It all started when i was walking around one day on my jaunts to Bangkok and walking in and out of boutiques for the sheer heck of it… and i came across the gauffre and that stopped me short! It’s back??

I had first had my first real glimpse of the Gauffre back in 2006 and i had fallen in love with it. But earning what i earned then (and now), ie peanuts, of course i could never afford it. So i never looked much at Prada bags since then… until i walked into the boutique. After that, with my heart set but price giving me butterflies, i went on my usual “bag research” — surfing the net on prices, calling up boutiques on what they offered (even those in Singapore!), emails to those making trips to Europe and so so many things done.

And finally, when hubby asked what i wanted, naturally i told him, a bag.

Not any bag.

A Prada.

So when he agreed, i wasnt the most excited actually. I felt guilty. I decided, let him not waste money on my idiotic craze and just dont bother to spend that kind of money. I’m not used to people spending money on me… and especially not that kind of moooolah… so i dawdled a wee bit more.

But the man insisted.

Now, does this man know know me or wat???? Sigh… he loves me…

But i was very worried … it was him that finally dragged me to the Prada boutique in Bangkok and got me my gauffre.

So yes, i know have another ‘IT’ bag to my growing collection this year… no its not full leather…. but i love my nylon and leather version – totally me!!!

Thankiiiiiiuuuuuu me darling hubbiiiie… me bag is fantabulous!

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Isn’t she lovely…

March 18, 2011 by The Hermit

After more than 5 years of looking and thinking and then giving up… she’s finally mine…

louis vuitton monogram denim mahina xl purse Louis Vuitton Monogram Denim Mahina XL

The Louis Vuitton Monogram Denim Mahina XL is all mine. No doubt i’ll be in debt till i’m 65… but yes, my life long dream is mine.

I first laid my eyes on this beauty many years ago, when i just an executive, trawling along the many designer shops, oogling and salivating over bags but could never afford them. This one bag caught my eye as it was in denim! But when i found out its price, i nearly smeared the floor of the LV Boutique with blood cos i nearly fainted!

And many many many years after, when i finally thought, time to go and get my dream bag, they had actually stopped production of this bag! So i was pretty devastated. And never looked at an LV bag with such hunger ever again.

Until, i came across Glampot Boutique by chance. It’s essentially a shop (brick & mortal, as well as on Facebook) that sells brand new and used bags. And this bag was there, looking as good as ever. So since the price was definitely cheaper than retail, and in excellent condition …. i bought it! My first LV, my first second hand bag!

And this would be my bag buy for the year since by the price, it would be my most expensive buy to date, and would keep me in debt till i’m 65!

But no worries… i have my life long dream bag with me! It’s mine, finally!!!

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When things go downhill… i look inwards for strength…

February 25, 2011 by The Hermit

Whenever i hit a stonewall, and things go buzzing in my head and i cant think straight… i look towards the daily readings for guidance… and usually, answers i seek will often be there.

And for the whole of this week, these were the ones that totally lightened my head!

Parts taken from the book of Ecclesiasticus (5:1-8): Do not delay your return to the Lord

Do not give your heart to your money,

or say, “with this, i am self-sufficient.”

Do not be led by your appetites and energy

to follow the passions of your heart.

And here’s the one that really gave me perspective, also from the book of Ecclesiasticus: A faithful friend is something beyond price. (6:1-7)

A kindly turn of speech multiplies a man’s friends,

and a courteous way of speaking invites many a friendly reply.

Let your acquaintances be many,

but your advisers one in a thousand.

If you want to make a friend, take him on trial

and be in no hurry to trust him;

for one kind of friend is only so when it suits him

but will not stand by you in your day of trouble.

Another kind of friend will fall out with you

and to your dismay make your quarrel public,

and a third kind of friend will share your table,

but not stand by you in your day of trouble:

when you are doing well he will be your second self,

ordering your servants about;

but if ever you are brought low he will turn against you

and will hide himself from you.

Keep well clear of your enemiers,

and be wary of your friends.

A faithful friend is a sure shelter,

whoever finds one has found a rare treasure.

A faithful friend is something beyond price,

there is no measuring his worth.

A faithful friend is the elixir of life,

and thsoe who fear the Lord will find one.

Whoever fears the Lord makes true friends,

for as a man is, so is his friend.

And with this… i started my day today…

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Walking away…

February 24, 2011 by The Hermit

Humans like to complicate matters.

They love making mountains out of mole hills, do their damndest best to be irritating and not do what they’re supposed to do… simply avoid being responsible!

And that really irks me. Worst is when they like to take things for granted and always, always pushing the buck to someone else.

Yes i’m ranting and raving about this cos i’ve at the end of my tether with them.

Yes, yes, i happen to be human too.

So what have they done to cause me so much pain?

When they think that just by having money, all problems are solved. I wonder if they ever realised that by thinking just like that, it will be the start of their problems? I really dislike it. Actually the worse are the ones who begin to think that just because they have accumulated wealth, they seem to balk at spending a lumpsum on somthing that is good, but will easily spend on things which are detrimental in the long term.
When they crave for attention. Why oh why do you think that you always need to be the centre of attraction?!
When they think (key operative word here is “think”) that they can act high and mighty to anyone, without a bone of humility in them?
When they believe that they can make use of you to fulfill their needs/goals. Seriously, do they really think that we’re that dumb?
When they would do anything to get what they want, at the cost of running down others.
When they think that they can easily push down their belief system down one’s throat, without even thinking of how it may affect the other party. Sigh… whatever happend to common courtesy?
When they believe that only they work, and hence, the world revolves around them and everyone else has the time to do stuff for them. Like we dont work as well and have our own stuff to settle?
When they think they’re doing us a favour, when in reality, they’re not. They’re just making things more difficult.

I’m tired.

I’m really tired of humans, cos the more i see and experience, the more tired i am. And I’ve been keeping quiet for a long time.

Swallowing my fair share.

I’m never one to retaliate aggressively, but eventually when i hit the wall, i’ll just tell everyone to take a hike. I think my mum received a fair dose of this yesterday

I’m far, far from perfect, cos seriously, i’ve issues of my own. But when i see this, a small voice inside tells me that this is what i should not be doing to others.

I learn. The days of being nice and diplomatic quickly diminishing. If i really can’t stand it, i’ll just go in the opposite direction.

Moving forward, i’ll continue living my independent life, living with what wee little i have, and enjoy the simple pleasures that’s attached to them.

I’m walking away.

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Not too crazy about decisions…

February 16, 2011 by The Hermit

So here i am, another day clocking in close to 12 over hours at the office, stuck here not because i didnt finish my job but doing someone elses who didnt bother to go through the details. So why am i still here? Cos i’m responsible and accountable. Even then, i know i will have to pick up the pieces, or the be blamed for stuff.

Sigh…

After six years here, i’ve always wondered why i’m still here. Actually, this was the year i got out and did my own thing. But guess what, fate stepped in.

I got married. A very good thing.

Hubby was supposed to come back. A good thing. Super!

But hubby couldnt find anything of his level here. Not a good thing.

So he got a better job in the country he lives. A good thing.

And now, i have to give up everything and go there. I’m not decided if this is good or not. But at this point, considering the interesting offers coming in and i know i can make it big here, i’m not particularly very happy. I guess i’m at the cusp of my career where i know what i’m capable of and have enough contacts in the industry to get going somewhere. Alas, it doesnt look like thats going to be put on hold for a while. And i’m very sad actually.

On one hand, i want to be with my husband and work together in the same country. But when i think of giving up my career for the next 2-3 years, now, that hits me quite hard cos its just at the crucial point where i know i can go so much further. Instead, now i have to give it all up, and start from scratch in another country, where not only is language is the main barrier, but in a career like mine, where contacts and who you know will help in making things happen, and i dont know anyone!

Sigh… so yes, i’m giving myself the opportunity to whinge.

I guess what i’m realising now is that thats what’s sacrifices is all about and i hope, one day, someone really realises what i’m giving up.

Whenever anyone tells me to up and leave, i always take it with a pinch of salt. Actually, more than a pinch. It hurts. Ouch!

From my point of view, i made it to where i am today throught initiatives which were completely my own, literally through a lot of blood, sweat and loads of tears. I worked really hard at getting to know many people over the years, who have today come up to be the bosses at certain organisations. And these people, know my worth and what i do and when i call them up on work related matters, especially in times of great need, they come through for me. That’s why i say this is a very relationship-based job that i do. I depend on a lot people out there to get things done.

But now, if i give it up for 2-3 years, that would mean i would be unaware of the changes here. Not only am i starting from scratch there, i have to come back and also start from scratch here.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…

However, i could leave and start anew there. Learn something new and focus on the family. Probably earn not as much as i’m used to, but hey, less shopping i guess.

I am particular that when i leave, i will only leave unless i get a job there. Yes, i’m married but that does not mean that i rely completely on my husband. I dont believe in this. On top of that, i dont believe in saddling him with my monthly oblications – car, home loans – as these were purchased by me before the marriage. It’s not fair. Hence, whatever i earn, will go towards paying for all of these.

I’ve been through and seen enough to know that when things could hit a rough patch, these are matters which i never want brought up. Humans are strange creatures, but when it comes to certain things, some things never change. Trust me. I learnt it the hard way. Been there and heard the worst. So yes, i know what i’m talking about.

But i’m not saying that all humans are the same. Though they still havent proven me wrong heeheehee…

So here i am in a perfect quandary.

Extremely sad that i have to leave my 15-year career behind.

Happy that i will be with my husband and starting a new life.

I guess that’s what they mean by “starting a new life“… i really wonder at how some people do it…

It’s now my time to learn i guess… sigh…

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A must-have bag to own… Bottega Veneta’s slouchu intrecciato…

February 16, 2011 by The Hermit

In my list of favourite bags must haves … one brand that have never been deleted is owning a bottega… and out of all, i like this!

Currently on Net a Porter (US$2,650), this Bottega Veneta slouchy intrecciato shoulder bag has a striking blend of light-brown leather and high-shine dark-brown patent-leather.

It definitely is a stunning bag to have on one’s arm, walking along those high-end Malls or meeting up with friends during the day… yes, here i am dreaming of days when i only work if i have to, with all the time in the world to sit around at cafes, enjoying lazy days ahead… hhhhmmmm…. ok ok i’m working towards this…

What i would do to own such a bag…. sigh…

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Is this a clutch or a clutch?

January 27, 2011 by The Hermit

I’m having an “OMG” moe-ment here… saw this on Bergdorf Goodman…

It’s the Kyoto Pagoda Clutch… and it has left me… speechless… gob smacked…

Ok, i’m kinda used already to the fancy ones from Judith Leiber… but this takes the cake!

According to the info page, it’s made from the finest Austrian crystals (red, black, clear) stunningly capture the iconic Kyoto pagoda. Details include emerald-cut crystals form windows—scaled down in size on each story to create the illusion of height; lotus-shaped charms hang from the corners of lower eaves; lightning-rod finial forms sliding-lock clasp, and completed with napa leather lining with logo plate.

And this costs a kewl US$6,795!

Awesome!

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Chic bags for a tea party…

January 26, 2011 by The Hermit

And there i was… just browsing through and came up with some interesting bag finds… bags for a girl’s day with friends - hot scones, bagels, tea and the latest goss around town… hhhhhmmmmm… nice…

1. Diane Von Furstenburg ‘s Laragh Large striped canvas shoulder bag (US$185 on Net a Porter)

Diane von Furstenberg

2. Marc Jacob’s JJ Pantent Leather Corsage Clutch (US$750 on net a porter)

Marc Jacobs JJ patent-leather corsage clutch

3. My love for all things Miu Miu continues… here’s a Miu Miu’s Matelassé canvas and leather bag … perfect for those in the Valentine mood… love the resin chain link detailing!!! (US$1,350 on Net a porter)