Happy Anniversary! I’ve made it through the last 12 months of marriage… by the skin of my teeth!

I find myself married to someone very loving and caring and i couldn’t have asked for someone better… but the distance has been really hard for me… and him, i think. But i’ve persevered thus far… tho there have been hiccups along the way.

More often than not, i’ve just kept quiet to keep the peace and see where things were heading to… and now i know…

What have i learnt in the last 12 months or so…

1. To not rush into a fight but rather wait and bide my time… i have been doing that to keep the peace so far… but… i believe this has to change… The empire strikes back!

2. To voice out dissatisfaction sooner, not later… tho i’m still learning how… i’m not much of a conversationalist these days … i’ve gone back to hermit mode… with my beloved books (since i can’t afford bags at the moment)… sigh, the loves of my life… bags and books… and my baby…

3. I have a very old fashioned husband… and very keen on being mr nice guy and listens/pleases everyone… sigh…

4. Marriage has its moe-ments… if i could, i would turn back the clock and do things differently and tell everyone, to take a hike… i really would…

5. I am a “single wife” and in the near future, i’ll be a single mum… so whatever happens, i’m on my own… no changing that any which way i look…

6. When it comes to money, well, lets just say, ho hum ho hum… i’ll manage… slowly but surely… i’ll give my kid the best that i can afford… more importantly where education is concerned…

7. When it comes to in-laws and others … well, they’re nice but seriously,  i have to stand my ground, especially where culture and religion come into play. i’ve kept quiet, and looked the other way. I think i’ve played second fiddle for just about long enough. I really wish if everyone took to time to understand and respect the beliefs of individuals around them… we’ll be living in a much better world…. hhhhmmmmm i have to write about this…

8. To focus on the future – with a child coming along, i need to think happy thoughts and not dwell on the small things … anyone can say anything, but i believe i’ll do what’s best for the kid… with or without consent from all those who think they know everything there is to know about raising a child. The claws will be coming out soon…

9. To keep on nurturing, ”pouring water and put enough fertiliser” my marriage. This is only the first year… there’s bound to be more drama to come …

10. Different people, different strokes. Take in whats good, avoid the losers.

So there… some of the very few things i’ve learnt and highlighted… some others are just best left between me and Mr God…

In these, i’ve learnt that i’ve to be much firmer and really, state my ground. The “let’s be rational” portion ain’t gonna be working in anymore. I’ve been “rational” and really, i feel that i’ve been taken for granted. Maybe it’s hormonal, maybe it’s not. It’s just how i feel.

And here’s to another year… may the force be with me… woohoo!!!