“i’m getting married” … there i’ve said out loud…
Sounds kinda strange coming from me… the one who was for the longest time a confirmed bacholerrette!
But seriously, it was stress-fying from the very beginning! For the whole month of April, i couldn’t eat or function properly! Everything from being rejected by in-laws to trying to understand “why anyone would want to marry a nut case like me?!” came to mind.
So yes, wedding preprations are being made and yes, i’m still clueless about a lot of things, since my future other half is away in another country all together. Ho hum… life goes on…
Nevertheless, out of all of this… one things continues to bug me… why do people continue to focus on the negative aspects of marriage life. So yes, both of us are from different religions and backgrounds, so does that mean its all going to be hell and highwater? Of course not…
In the beginning, I had my better half telling me that i should find out/be aware of issues. Then i had another individual telling us that we should not be married, but instead live in sin. Strangely, when this person said it, i wasn’t affected at all. To tell the truth, i wasnt in the least interested nor could i care less. Left ear in, right ear out. But only when my better half brought it up one night and only then did i realise how affected he was by listening to all of this, did i really pull myself up and get a bit miffed with all this negative remarks. With me, never mind, say what u want, but to individuals that i love and care about, dont you even try…
Yes, knowing the issues and problems are great, and being aware of even the smallest issue will help, but really, to keep on dwelling on it as though we’re going to know about everything before the marriage is just asking for trouble i reckon. Everyone is different and as such, no one is going to have the same problem, the same way. There may be similarities but really… how one reacts would be different.
Thankfully really, only my closest friends whom i’ve told about the marriage have come out with rallying support on this whole thing. Oh well, i think it’s because i’ve seen them go through their own relationship/marital challenges and learnt quite a few things as well along the way… and yes, i do get the hints/talks on what needs to be done etc etc etc etc every once in while, and not the constant reminder of “think of the issues/problems/marriage is not a bed of roses” etc from various humans.
Seriously, if everyone had this mantra, it’s no wonder the sanctity of marriage has been seriously compromised and people would rather live together than commit to each other for a whole lifetime. Hence, i’ve stayed away from all this negative energy as much as i can. Not hiding, but just dont want to be absorbed into it. As i’ve said before, embroiling one self in too much negative energy just really hits one the wrong way, right from the start!
To me, marriage is really a commitment to live and grow old together. I know it’s not going to be perfect as there will be a lot of compromise, give and take and really, learning to live with each other, and surviving through each other’s bad/irritating habits! Yes i bet there would be the arguments, but heck, i even argue with the cats that sleep in my front yard! And for having kids, i would love to have some. A few. 3 maybe… i dunno but i really want to start with a girl… errr i think i’m thinking way way ahead here 
If there’s anyone who should be high tailing out of this should my own self, coming from the dysfunctional background that i have. I’ve lived through it first hand and fully aware of what could make or break a marriage. It’s easy to remember the challenging times and the ensuing dramas, strangely i remember them very clearly in my mind. Without a doubt, I have my scars, i have my baggage, i have my issues. But i’ve realised in the last few years that keeping these with you only begets more problems. So in the end, i chucked it all aside and used it as life lessons, try not to repeat them. Learn from the past so that mistakes do not reoccur. And as such, it has kinda prepared me for this life time commitment that i’m entering. Eyes wide open… I’ll settle the problem when it crops up, not start thinking about it and have a prepared issues kit!
I’ve realised that i’ve grown up much more in the last few years. I’ve learnt that whatever that has happened to me were really, things that would make me a better person, stronger with nerves of steel, and prepare me for the future. I’ve learnt to let go and go with the flow… no restrictions, no rigid rules and regulations. If it’s good, then good. If its bad, then out the window. If its going to harm me, then no. If nothing, then why not…
The fact that i really, honestly, do not care what sort of religion anyone can embrace, except the fact that you’re an honestly good and trustworthy person. I dont remember ever telling anyone how or what they should be praying or saying or doing upon entering any house of worship nor have i judged anyone based on their religion. But somehow, i do get this once in a while … that’s why i always wonder at how religions have evolved and moved with the times, but not the practitioners… sigh…
Anyway… yes, i’m getting married and i’m preparing myself mentally… physically i cant do very much anymore, crap! How or what happens will largely depend on how we tackle it, good times, challenging times. It will be a challenge for these two independent souls, but one i promise not to back down from! 
Yeah… it’s going to be good… well, most of it anyway 
